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SUBMUNITIONS: July 4 [Jul. 4th, 2006|06:11 pm]
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Every July 4, the British quietly celebrate Experiment Day. It is the anniversary of the decision to allow the American colonies to establish “independence.” This masquerade commenced the greatest social experiment in human history, one that has run for more than two hundred years.

Allowing the colonies to overrun an immense landmass scattershot with areas utterly unfit for human habitation and watching them amass astonishing wealth and industrial power has in fact led them to provide the United Kingdom with the longest-running free comedy show of all time.

Here’s to you, our colonial dancing monkies. Happy Experiment Day.


© Warren Ellis 2006

(SUBMUNITIONS: stories inside 100 words)
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[User Picture]From: lee_in_limbo
2006-07-04 05:13 pm (UTC)

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*applause*

Lee,
grinning
[User Picture]From: agentorrange
2006-07-04 05:17 pm (UTC)

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I knew it!
[User Picture]From: tadiera
2006-07-04 05:17 pm (UTC)

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Some of us enjoy being dancing monkies. I mean, seriously... if I weren't, I couldn't throw my own crap at people. And that's always a source of hilarity.
[User Picture]From: kethseltho
2006-07-04 05:18 pm (UTC)

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I'm glad my eyes are open to the truth. Now to celebrate with explosives for your entertainment.
[User Picture]From: trini_naenae
2006-07-04 05:19 pm (UTC)

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Bwhahahaa. Not that I really care. I'm a bit indifferent about the entire day myself. (And unless I move to a larger/more urban city, the fireworks are going to be boring, I've just about seen it all anyways.)
[User Picture]From: blueathena
2006-07-04 05:30 pm (UTC)

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I like to imagine them as carnations or roses blooming. But then again, that gets old too.
;)
[User Picture]From: wyldkyss
2006-07-04 05:19 pm (UTC)

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I dance.

And in a few minutes, I go to work. Apparently the celebrators need coffee still...
[User Picture]From: blueathena
2006-07-04 05:29 pm (UTC)

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yes yes I need coffee.
*walks up the hill to nearest coffeeshop*
[User Picture]From: meaty_urologist
2006-07-04 05:19 pm (UTC)

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I for one welcome our old British overlords. As long as they don't bring that horrible food...
[User Picture]From: _grimtales_
2006-07-04 06:02 pm (UTC)

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More curry for us! Huzzah!
[User Picture]From: octopodes
2006-07-04 05:19 pm (UTC)

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permission to repost to my f-list?
[User Picture]From: warren_ellis
2006-07-04 05:20 pm (UTC)

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Sure.
[User Picture]From: westrider
2006-07-04 05:20 pm (UTC)

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Why thank you. It is so nice to get feedback, and wonderful to hear that our antics are seen as amusing.
[User Picture]From: lollardfish
2006-07-04 05:24 pm (UTC)

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Hmm. "Unfit for human habitation." "Astonishing wealth." "Comedy."

Welcome to Las Vegas.
[User Picture]From: basal_surge
2006-07-04 05:24 pm (UTC)

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So whose decision to experiment was it - George III on one of his lucid days, perhaps?
[User Picture]From: victoria_lane
2006-07-04 05:26 pm (UTC)

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The last six years have been particularly amusing, in a twisted way.
[User Picture]From: blueathena
2006-07-04 05:28 pm (UTC)

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teehee. I agree. And I'm American.
Happy Experiment Day for you,
and Happy Build Bookshelves Cause I Have Off From Work Day for me. :)

[User Picture]From: kalimdor_wilson
2006-07-04 05:29 pm (UTC)

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Ook! Ook ook!

*throws feces*
[User Picture]From: carolynturgeon
2006-07-04 05:29 pm (UTC)

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Admit that sometimes, late at night, when the moon is full and your heart is empty, you wish you were here dancing with us. Don't lie.
[User Picture]From: warren_ellis
2006-07-04 05:30 pm (UTC)

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I don't dance.
[User Picture]From: jeremiahblatz
2006-07-04 05:29 pm (UTC)

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Well, at least something good came out of it.

So, can you take us under your wing again?
[User Picture]From: lysystratae
2006-07-04 05:29 pm (UTC)

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hehehehehehe.... you do realize that you've just started a whole batch of conspiracy theorists off on a new one, right?
[User Picture]From: childofmetis
2006-07-04 05:31 pm (UTC)

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"Well, Warren Ellis said..."

If you don't know who Warren Ellis is, his name sounds so very credible and knowledgeable.

Um. Not that he isn't.
[User Picture]From: childofmetis
2006-07-04 05:30 pm (UTC)

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the longest-running free comedy show of all time.
So where do I sign up for the Holy Slut Army again?
[User Picture]From: oneminutemonkey
2006-07-04 05:30 pm (UTC)

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You, sir, are wicked and cruel.
That's the funniest thing I've read all day.
I've been awake for 5 minutes.
[User Picture]From: hawkward
2006-07-04 10:49 pm (UTC)

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Off-topic: I have the plushie in your icon, in my car. Yay!
[User Picture]From: glaucorocco
2006-07-04 05:31 pm (UTC)

I thought it was just ranting

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Until i read the submunitions footer. Made me laugh a lot.

Now, everything down from Mexico is what? a dumpster of spain and portugal? Or the reverse Experiment Day?
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: meaty_urologist
2006-07-04 05:44 pm (UTC)

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Seconded.
[User Picture]From: mycroftca
2006-07-04 05:36 pm (UTC)

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You guys just WISH you had it so good.
[User Picture]From: mightywombat
2006-07-04 05:37 pm (UTC)

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Heh. I still endorse your plan for the British to take over here again.

Love,
Daning Monkey # 54A2F568
[User Picture]From: fatfred
2006-07-04 05:38 pm (UTC)

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And you came over here last week to check on certain aspects of the experiment, right?
Well, how is it working?
[User Picture]From: jdsharpe
2006-07-04 05:40 pm (UTC)

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Brilliant!
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