I dreamed my eldest son was upset with me on the telephone because I had "taken" his folder with his writing in it. He sounded so sad and I was befuddled because I hadn't actualy confiscated it - would never do such a thing! - I had merely grabbed it while holding onto him hanging from the door of a moving bus so he wouldn't fall and lose his folder in the process. Before I could explain to him, something told me to find out where he was. He was in the hospital because apparently right after I saved him from falling out of the moving bus he was kidnapped and held as a rape victim somewhere. The police were explaining this to me. My head was exploding and I woke up terrifed and full of rage and had to run downstairs and hug my eldest lest all that energy tear me inside out. Of course I didnt' tell him about the dream. He thought it was a random "mom-hug" then we chatted about his visit with his father and I thought that's probably where all this is coming from. NOt that I think his father would do any such thing but the metaphorical context is clear to me, who remembers clearly his father's sociopathic methods of control and manipulation through violation of personal problems. I know his dad treats him well and he can handle his father's penchant for emotional machinations but it still chills me sometimes thinking about how the ex USED to be when he was younger and more apathetic about being discovered for the wanton user he is. He is older and has little need of being controlling or whatever to his sons - that's what his girlfriends and parents are for.

Now I'm going out to see Grindhouse. I hope it's as good as everyone says. Here's a picture, I hope this works.. if not, I'll come back and try to post another.

(Reply) (Thread)